It's Hard To Find A Perfect Partner

Essay by cobeloveyouUniversity, Bachelor'sB, August 2004

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Many single parents have given up on their great expectations of finding a husband or wife, a survey of members of Parents Without Partners found. Although 90% answered positively when asked if they want to be married (41% said yes and 49% maybe), 91% believe marriage takes a lot of hard work and 77% think people expect too much from it. Nevertheless, hope springs eternal, with 88% indicating that, if they knew how to find the right partner, they would do the work necessary to meet him or her.

According to Carolyn and Wes Huff, authors of Perfect Partners, there are 16 factors that make a difference: sex drive and how you show affection; age; health and fitness habits (including smoking, drinking, and/or using drugs); where to live; intelligence and education; lifestyle; views about work and level of ambition; how to handle and spend money; expectations for romantic relationships and marriage; physical characteristics; religious feelings and practices; political beliefs; desire to have children; life stage; leisure interests; and energy levels.

These are areas where the Huffs maintain that two people must be closely aligned, disputing the belief of 71% of those surveyed who indicated that opposites can have a great marriage. They argue that you never can have one between opposites.

When you tell people that finding the right partner for a great marriage is the result of a well-planned, step-by-step approach, they think it's unromantic. However, when you find someone with whom you are highly compatible on the 16 factors that make a difference, deciding to love them, acting lovingly toward them, and falling in love are easy compared to the emotional roller coaster ride of being with the wrong person and never being sure of him or her.